A Day in the Life of Irvine
by Restless Inner Thoughts
Summary: Irvine gets lucky, Squall loses money, Quistis gets rich, Zell loves Sarah or Hotdogs, Selphie gets her hair pulled! Pleace Read and review!


**I came up with this really quickly as a favour to my friend, Sarah. I love Selphie really, and she sounds a bit bitchy in this. But she had to really to make it work.. No offence intended to Selphie lovers. This is a bit stupid really but I hope you like reading it. Please R&R!**  
  
Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns all the characters in this fic except Sarah who belongs to me!..um, herself. Yes.  
  
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All the gang were sat in the canteen. There was a pile of money on the table in front of them. They were watching a certain tall, gorgeous cowboy. Well, all but Selphie who was hunched in a corner, staring in the opposite direction, foot tapping manically.  
  
The reason for the money became clear in few seconds...  
  
"So, what d'ya reckon? Still think she'll turn him down?" Zell whispered to Squall.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, there's no way she's gonna fall for that one! He always uses that chat up line! I reckon she's going to slap him round the face."  
  
"10gil says she doesn't."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Taking that for a yes, Zell turned his attention eagerly to Irvine, who was towering over a petit brunette. His words were just audible above the murmured conversations of the other people in the canteen.  
  
"Girl, are you a parking ticket?" Irvine drawled lazily.  
  
"Why." The girls asked, her large grey eyes narrowed in confusion.  
  
"Cos, baby, you've got "Fine" written all over you!" He followed his words with a suggestive smirk and a wink.  
  
"Slap him, slap him!" Squall muttered to himself repeatedly under his breath.  
  
Instead, the girl just giggled.  
  
"Oh yeah! Who's da man?! Hand over the money, Squall!" Grudgingly, looking thunderous, Squall passed over the 10gil.  
  
"Oh yeah! Go...! What's her name?" Zell asked, his cute face a mask of confusion.  
  
"Sarah." Selphie muttered through clenched teeth.  
  
"Oh yeah! Go Sarah, go Sarah!" Zell chanted, complete with actions.  
  
"You're never going to hear the last of that, you know!" Rinoa said teasingly to Squall before laying her head on his shoulder.  
  
Everyone's attention had now returned to Irvine and Sarah. They seemed to be whispering to each other and now and again you could here Sarah giggle. Every time Sarah giggled, Selphie would sigh and roll her eyes, before doing a cruel imitation.  
  
"Hehe! Yes, watch me flip my hair over my shoulder. Haha! Aren't I pretty. Yes, that's very funny. Look at me twitter like a stupid little bird!"  
  
Her sighs became louder until finally, she stood up and stalked over to where Irvine and Sarah were stood. However, before she could even reach them, something happened that made Selphie even more jealous.  
  
Talking just didn't seem to be enough for Irvine, and without a moments notice, he grabbed a very shocked Sarah and planted an extremely passionate kiss on her lips. The kiss seemed to last for a very long time. So long in fact that Squall and Zell even had time to bet on how long it would last.  
  
When the pair eventually pulled apart, Zell held out his hand and coughed quietly, "Ahem!" Squall glared at him, the sighed loudly and placed another 10gil in Zell's palm. "Just not your day is it, Squall. I think I love Sarah. If it wasn't for Irvine I think I'd go out with her. It's the least I could do after she's made me so much money this morning. How much have I won o far today?" He asked himself, counting the money that he's pulled out of his pocket, "50gil altogether, I think?"  
  
Zell had to duck quickly as Squall's fist came flying in his direction. "Not a bad loser, I'm guessing?"  
  
"Shh, you two! Look what's happening!" Rinoa's voice drew them back to the scene between Irvine, Selphie and Sarah.  
  
Irvine and Sarah had once again melted together to form one person. The kiss was so steamy it would have lasted a lot longer if it hadn't been for a rather impatient tap on Sarah's shoulder.  
  
Dragging herself away from Irvine, she tuned round to face her interrupter, all she ended up seeing however, was a hand moving quickly towards her. The slap cracked like a whip and echoed round the canteen. It was so loud that everyone in there looked up, instantly forgetting what they had been talking about.  
  
Sarah put a hand up to her cheek. There was confusion and hurt, not to mention anger, in the eyes she placed accusingly on Selphie. "You bitch! What in Hyne did you do that for!" Not waiting for a reply, Sarah slapped Selphie just as hard.  
  
"Owwww! Irvine! Do something, she just slapped me!" Selphie whined, forgetting conveniently that it was her who had started it. But she was talking to empty space. Irvine had walked off to see Zell and Squall, who were still arguing over the outcome of the slapping match.  
  
"Selphie's going to win! I know it!" Squall said.  
  
"Nah, Sarah's going to beat Selphie hand's down, so to speak!" Zell said, enthusiastically, his speech followed by the sound of another slap. "See!"  
  
"No, you're both wrong. They're going to hit each other for a couple of minutes and then they're going to remember that I'm in the room, and they're both going to make love to me!" Irvine interrupted, a confident smile on his face. However, he winced as a tirade of bad language could be heard streaming out of Selphie's mouth.  
  
"What, both together? At the same time?" Zell asked.  
  
"What? Both together? In the canteen? Now?" Squall asked at the same time. Irvine just shrugged his shoulders suggestively.  
  
"I'm sorry to burst your bubbles, but I know exactly what is going to happen." The three men fixed Quistis with withering looks, and laughed.  
  
"How much you willing to bet?" Zell asked, mockingly.  
  
"50gil."  
  
All three men whistled together at the same time.  
  
Squall had to pause a moment before speaking, as angry voices raised to screaming point filled the room. "Okay, so what do you think is going to happen?"  
  
"I reckon that Sarah and Selphie will fight for a while and then they will both realise they are fighting over Irvine and he's been two timing them, so they'll both walk out, arm in arm."  
  
Irvine's laugh was smothered by Selphie crying, "Owwww! That's my hair! Let..go.you.bitch!!"  
  
"Your on, little lady! They'd never do that!"  
  
Suddenly, they were aware of a great, yawning silence surrounding the canteen. Sarah and Selphie had stopped fighting. Instead, they were conversing in small whispers. Irvine looked worried, "I'm scared. Why they doing that? Being all un-screaming? I don't like it!"  
  
"Awwww, does poor little Irvy want to call off his bet?" Quistis asked, sarcastically. Irvine didn't have time to answer because right at that moment, Sarah and Selphie walked up to him.  
  
"Here, "Selphie said, "We've decided to stop wasting our breath over you, read this instead." She ordered, thrusting her piece of paper at Irvine. He took it numbly. Sarah handed him a similar piece of paper.  
  
"Come on, Sarah, let's go to the Quad!" Selphie said, linking her arm through Sarah's as they both walked out.  
  
"Ahem." A small cough was heard and two hands held out. Silently, 3 piles of money were put into her hand. "Thank you, boys. Lovely doing business with you." Quistis smiled.  
  
Squall grumbled under his breath, "100gil in les than 4 hours, this is bad!"  
  
"So, what do your notes say, Irvine?"  
  
"The one from Selphie was basically about how she hated being cheated on, how she thought she meant more to me, how I am such a bad person, blah, blah, blah. We weren't even going out!"  
  
"Um, yes you were." Rinoa said in a small voice.  
  
"Ohhh! Now I get it!" Irvine's face showed some sudden understanding.  
  
"What did the one from Sarah say?" Quistis asked.  
  
"Um, basically the same. Ohhh! Except there's a P.S. 'Meet me in my room in ten minutes after I get rid of Selphie. I didn't really mean anything I just wrote. I love you! See you later!' Yessssssss!!!! I've scored big time!!! Wohoo! C'ya later guys!" Irvine practically waltzed out of the room.  
  
"Wow! He really must like Sarah!" Rinoa said.  
  
Zell sighed, "Yeah, "He said sadly. "She's the most important thing in my life."  
  
"Hotdogs are ready!" the lady in the canteen yelled.  
  
"Yaaaay!! Hotdogs! Yeah, man!! They're the most important things in my life!!" Zell, rushed out of his seat and did front flips all the way to the counter.  
  
Quistis smiled after him, shaking her head. "Hmmm, time to spend my money, I think." 


End file.
